A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
