sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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