I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
