Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
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Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
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The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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