we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
