You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
