you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
