There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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