Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
