Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
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