You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you would pick up someone in the library
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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