1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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