Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
