there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
