From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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