If that was your dad, he is hot
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
