WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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