What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
