Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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