the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
