I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
