It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
