I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
