jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
