im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
