what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
