why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
false alarm. still invincible.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
