we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize