the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
