the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
