ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
