i just had sex bonerless
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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