i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
