jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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