I wannas sexs uuuuu
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
