You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
