took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
