Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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