so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
