I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
