How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I party with great urgency now.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
