Are we in a gay sports bar?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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