We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
