he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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