He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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