Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
