I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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