shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
