My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
her facebook's as public as her vagina
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
