If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
