lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
