My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Text me some of your sweat
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
