And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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