drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
