he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
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The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
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THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.