Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
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i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
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Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.