some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out