Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls

  (415): View more from California

  Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls (415): Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr? http://tfl.nu/tx8e
  Replies (7) Good night (1536) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish" http://tfl.nu/4kon
  Replies (9) Good night (3573) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that? http://tfl.nu/r8k1
  Replies (44) Good night (1241) Bad night (8838)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight. http://tfl.nu/a7yq
  Replies (24) Good night (5223) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely http://tfl.nu/qwih
  Replies (7) Good night (2856) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment. http://tfl.nu/tur1
  Replies (5) Good night (2389) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame. (724): When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face http://tfl.nu/6r6m
  Replies (8) Good night (2680) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT http://tfl.nu/bpk7
  Replies (19) Good night (2348) Bad night (1210)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry? http://tfl.nu/5luf
  Replies (15) Good night (549) Bad night (1427)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could http://tfl.nu/i42k
  Replies (5) Good night (1335) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it. http://tfl.nu/xm8c
  Replies (8) Good night (1945) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards. http://tfl.nu/javn
  Replies (13) Good night (658) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL. http://tfl.nu/yext
  Replies (3) Good night (468) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face. http://tfl.nu/bjr7
  Replies (2) Good night (537) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB. http://tfl.nu/sezq
  Replies (1) Good night (787) Bad night (143)

Randomize