Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.

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(919): There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later. http://tfl.nu/ou2j

Replies (28) Good night (1285) Bad night (2944)
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(703): View more from Virginia

i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day

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(703): i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day http://tfl.nu/h495

Replies (29) Good night (6590) Bad night (663)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.

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(715): Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina. http://tfl.nu/6q39

Replies (290) Good night (4183) Bad night (2738)
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(954): View more from Florida

I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm

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(954): I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm http://tfl.nu/muws

Replies (8) Good night (3836) Bad night (1166)
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(+64): View more from New Zealand

And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.

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(+64): And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical. http://tfl.nu/yu5v

Replies (23) Good night (5652) Bad night (1430)
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(845): View more from New York

Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.

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(845): Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye. http://tfl.nu/5hfu

Replies (20) Good night (1448) Bad night (2864)
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(+61): View more from Australia

They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved

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(+61): They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved http://tfl.nu/or7i

Replies (5) Good night (1949) Bad night (564)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.

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(610): You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude. http://tfl.nu/8276

Replies (6) Good night (1718) Bad night (653)
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(231): View more from Michigan

I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.

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(231): I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it. http://tfl.nu/oche

Replies (8) Good night (1743) Bad night (841)
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(941): View more from Florida

I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�

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(941): I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us� http://tfl.nu/54ii

Replies (2) Good night (1253) Bad night (400)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.

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(520): Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today. http://tfl.nu/im22

Replies (11) Good night (511) Bad night (2400)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.

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(320): Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different. http://tfl.nu/42a5

Replies (5) Good night (1194) Bad night (283)
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(410): View more from Maryland

after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.

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(410): after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy. http://tfl.nu/riha

Replies (4) Good night (951) Bad night (306)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus

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(412): Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus http://tfl.nu/j3t9

Replies (3) Good night (544) Bad night (239)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.

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(907): Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly. http://tfl.nu/v6o5

Replies (1) Good night (241) Bad night (619)

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