Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(409): View more from Texas

Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.

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(518): View more from New York

he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to

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(210): View more from Texas

He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.

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