Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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