I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
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His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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