Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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