Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
