Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize