I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
