Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Sorry about my life...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
