just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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