Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Green mimosas i think yes
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
