i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
